Saturday, April 18, 2009

the shit has hit the fan, but it's OK!

not sure if anyone still reads this blog or not, but alas, i decided to blog.

it's been months, but better late than never. the reason i haven't blogged in so long is because everything in my life has drastically changed since hope told her parents everything. her parents told people who told people.

i was outed on all fronts by one of hope's family members.

i lost my job and my reputation is headed out the window, in some circles.

the good news: i still have my faith. it is completely intact. actually it is stronger. i've never needed Jesus more than i do now in this period in my life. i have a newfound freedom of not having to hide anymore. though i'm still not ready to completely come out in every aspect of the word.

i won't be blogging much anymore. i will start my journey of trying to be an out gay christian who still has a heart for ministry. i'll just have to start applying to open and affirming churches. i know they're out there.

God is still on His throne. this didn't surprise Him. He is good. just as good as He was before things fell apart. in fact, He is already working good out of this situation. i have a new hope. a new passion. i want to be used by God to bring hope to gay christians just like me who think they can't be gay and also be a christian.

i am living proof that the two can co-exist. Jesus is drawing close to me than ever before. i have a peace underneath it all. it is truly well with my soul, i can honestly say that.

hope and i are doing well, staying strong depsite it all. therapy does wonders.

no one and nothing can take me away from where God wants to take me so He can use me for His glory.

thanks to all of you who pray for me and read this blog. i am doing ok. it's just a major time of transition right now. but i will get through it. and God will bring me out on the other side, ready to use me in a capacity that only He can imagine right now.

pray He will show me the way into His heart.