things are rolling folks. i can't even begin to explain it, but God is doing such a work in my life. He is bringing people in my life who are going to walk with me on this journey. this very very difficult journey into deep uncharted waters.
just when i thought God couldn't give me any more safe low-risk people to come out to, HE DID!
a girl i used to mentor for about a year (we'll call her samantha) called me to have coffee yesterday. and coffee we had, among other things. we had an amazing conversation about how we are on similar journeys of experiencing God totally busting out of the box we've put Him in. she's completely straight and married, but is completely opening her mind to new ways to look at Truth. she is learning a ton in grad school about homosexuality, specifically. so she brought it up, and i couldn't have been happier. she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "i don't find any scripture opposing homosexuality. therefore, i dont think its a sin."
well hell yeah!
i couldn't believe my ears. here was another one of my close friends telling me that God had revealed to her that homosexuality actually isn't a sin! i was floored. i tried to hide my excitement and shock and i simply told her how God had changed my mind too. i told her i didn't think it was a sin either.
i wanted so badly to come out to her, but i knew it wasn't the right timing. so we just kept talking about homosexuality and christianity and the Bible and such. it was such a refreshing conversation. i'm still on a high from it. she totally gets it. and i couldn't be more thankful to God for revealing His truth to her.
when i left her house, i called her and immediately scheduled a second coffee date so we could finish our conversation. so this friday, yes THIS friday, she's coming over and i'm going to tell her about me being gay. i'm totally nervous, but i know it's the right thing to do and the right timing. she is safe and low-risk and she is on my same page and will love me through this. it's almost like God is building up my team, my family, my community who will stick by my side when many others leave me.
so, two big things coming up friends! gay double date night tonight, and coming out to samantha on friday! AHHH!!! needless to say, this is a crucial time in my life. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a little scared. amidst the underlying Jesus-inspired peace, i am a little scared. actually, on the inside i probably look like this girl:
4 comments:
When it's time, it's time. And the beauty is, as opposed to what our detractors would like to believe, we don't make it happen as we discover that all out are truly free.
I too have had the thrill of reconnecting with high school friends on the same journey. I attended a little, conservative Christian school, and always thought I was the only one. Wrong! In fact, for my husband's 50th birthday, we spent it at a little "cove" on the beach operated by a high school friend and his partner. I told my friend, R, "I want to go back to '77 KJ (The year we graduated) and tell him that he'll be spending his husband's 50th birthday at a facility managed by R and his husband." However, I suspect that '77 KJ would say, "Be gone in the name of Jesus!"
That's okay. All things in their time.
Peace of Christ
OK, first, EXCELLENT picture. :-)
I'm so glad for you, hon. Glad you've found some places of safety, and especially glad that you get to speak your truth out loud. There's nothing like it.
Prayers wafting for you and Hope, that this time may be an outpouring of grace for you.
Booya! You go girl finding all these people to hang out with! I'm mightily pleased.
Also, the picture, it is priceless.
I tumbled over to your blog through "a pocket full of hope" blog. What a treat to find you today! I look forward to reading more from you in the coming days. I just LOVED the pic. and the description of fear... I do understand that peace that we are blessed with underneath it all as well!
Wendy
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