first gay double date!

last wednesday, i went to coffee with one of my best friends from high school (we'll call her ashley) who i hadn't seen in many many years. i was so excited because we were so close in high school, but i was also nervous because i hadn't talked to her in forever and had no idea what had been going on in her life. 

in high school, we both confided in each other that we "struggled" with same sex attraction. we resolved to pray harder and be better christians and maybe God would heal us of our sin. obviously, if you've read any of my other blogs, you know now where i stand with this issue! i no longer believe homosexuality is a sin, but i wasn't sure where ashley would stand on the issue. 

so we met for coffee and right off the bat, the topic gets brought up. without even hesitating one second, she began telling me about how God had revealed His truth to her, how she was happier than she'd ever been, and she beamed with true, God-given joy. i'd never seen her so happy. when i asked her why, she said that she was finally free. she was no longer living under condemnation. after talking for a bit, i realized that we were almost in the same boat! we both had been on a year long journey of God revealing His heart for us gay gals!

it was the most amazing time. we had a blast. but it was so refreshing to hear her heart. she is still so close to the Lord, i could see it in her eyes. and she is also a lesbian, committed to one partner. she got to tell me all about her new girlfriend, who she's been seeing for almost a year now. much like me and Hope! this conversation with ashley was yet another huge confirmation from the Lord that i'm walking in the center of His will.

so i felt safe to start telling her about me and my journey. i'm pretty sure she was surprised, because the last time we had talked about our "struggles" i was adamant about continuing to "fight my natural desires" because i thought somehow God wanted me to do that. but everything has changed and i couldn't wait to tell her! i told her ALL about what i'd been going through, where i've come from, what i've been learning and i told her i no longer thought it was a sin either. i love being able to say that to people i trust. actually at one point, just for fun, i said "ya, i'm a flaming lesbian." i'd never said that before, but dang it felt good.

we laughed and laughed and expressed limitless joy about how abundant our new free lives were! it was amazing.

then she asked me if i had someone, and i couldn't hold it in. remember, at this point i have told NO ONE, no one, about Hope. not one person knows about us. but i felt ashley was safe. so i asked Hope if i could tell her, and then i told ashley everything. it felt so good to get that out. so not only was i coming out to another person, but i was finally talking about the most important human relationship in my life, my committed love relationship with Hope. i told ashley with confidence, "i'm going to marry her." i was beaming. i couldn't wipe the smile off my face. she was so excited for me. but also, it was scary telling someone something i'd never told anyone else.

then ashley was like, "i can't wait to meet her." well, Hope happened to be at my house, so we went over there and it was hilarious! so awkward at first, but so awesome to have them meet. my Beloved was nervous of course because this was the first person to know about us and Hope didn't even know her. but the more we all talked, the more natural it felt and the more free we were all able to be. 

i couldn't believe i was standing in my kitchen talking to one of my best friends from high school who was now finally living the life she longed for, and she was talking to my future wife who is living the life she's always longed for, and they were talking to me, and i'm living the life i've always longed for! it was beautiful.

guess what's happening tonight? ashley invited Hope and i over for a gay double date night! her girlfriend is cooking! i'm nervous but oh so excited! my first official gay double date! i'll be sure to let you all know how it goes.