someday, maybe

in light of today's sermon, i went back to one of my favorite new books What God Has Joined Together and took another look at what the authors had to say in praise of gay marriage. below is a summary of different points the book makes:

first of all, you may be reading this and you might know of some evidence against gay marriage. you might have read dr. dobson and you might have seen some studies he has used to attack gay marriage. 

Dobson argued in a 2004 webcast that "There have been more than 10,000 studies that have showed that children do best with a fathers and a mother. In fact, where children are raised with a committed mother and father the children are less likely to fail in school, be on drugs, be in poverty, commit suicide, get pregnant..." Fair enough. i would see that point and think, wow, maybe he's right. but as is his custom, dobson is twisting the evidence. so here's what the authors say in response to this claim that Dobson used to support his desire for a ban on gay marriage:

"Dobson, as we've sought to demonstrate is surely right about the benefits of marriage and co-parenting. It's better to have both a mother and a father than only a solo mother or father (or neither).... But in terms of an argument against gay marriage, Dobson misstates the point. Most such studies compare children of intact married couples with single-parent children. virtually none compare children of opposite-sex and same-sex couples. And virtually none compare children in single-parent or neglectful homes with children adopted or born into families where they are co-parented by two stable partners of the same sex. Will such children be harmed by not having a father (or a mother)? Or are two committed parents, regardless of gender, better than one?" 

good point, i must say.

it really chaps my butt to see evidence from studies used inappropriately. but enough about dobson, we've been there. 

as i was reading back through the book, i stumbled upon chapter 9 which deals with seven different arguments against gay marriage. and it deals with those arguments beautifully. the chapter is all about why gay marriage should be lawful and why it would be more helpful than harmful. so, because i can't exactly plagiarize and copy all the stuff i like from that particular chapter, i'll just have to tell you to go read the book :) i wish i could sum it all up, but i just realized there's too much to sum up. it is ALL good stuff. but i will leave you with this last idea from the authors, Dr. Myers and Letha Scanzoni:

"Because marriage is inherently healthy, same-sex marriage will be healthier than its less permanent alternatives. It will likely not accelerate us down a slippery slope to promiscuity and polygamy. To the contrary, it has the potential to "let the air out of the tires of the alternatives-to-marriage movement." It can prompt heterosexual men and women to appreciate marriage in a new way. Sean Captain found that out while performing same-sex weddings as a deputized San Francisco marriage commissioner during the time when gay marriages were taking place there. He reported that he had 'learned as much about love in a few days as I had in the previous 32 years.' Observing tearful, joyous couples 'strengthened my respect for the institution,' he wrote. 'It forced me to rethink the mild contempt I have had for marriage and realize how wonderful it can be when two people love each other so much that they are willing to tie their destinies together.' Indeed, i

f implemented as part of a pro-marriage initiative, inviting gay couples to say I DO may help reverse the growing tendency for straight couples to say WE DON'T."

Bottom line:

God has placed an extraordinary woman in my life who loves Jesus and walks closely with Him. she (Hope) loves me deeply and i love her more than my own life. i believe that we were designed to spend the rest of our lives together. i want nothing more than to marry her and enjoy the benefits that hetero married couples have. if i could and if the dang flight prices weren't so expensive, i would get on a plane right now and fly to california and make it legal. i just wish the rest of the world saw the benefits of allowing homosexuals to marry. i so long for the day when we can look back and say, "oh my gosh, how could we have been so wrong and restricted toward gays?" 

i am encouraged, however, when i think about how far we've come in some ways. remember how combative the world and christian community used to be against interracial marriage?people (though some still do today) used to freak out at the thought or site of marriage between people of different skin colors. and now it is widely accepted, as it should be. hopefully someday it will be the same with marriage between people of the same gender. maybe someday two committed partners in marriage of the same - sex won't draw such a judgmental eye. i am also encouraged by the fact that culture will always be changing. it will always morph and take on different looks. marriage has changed so many times in the past centuries and beyond. men used to have more than 1 wife, people used to marry for all kinds of reasons other than love, etc etc. but now marriage is very different. and it will continue to change. this change would include gay marriage. 

my dream: to marry Hope and spend the rest of my life with her. to glorify God to the highest possible degree with our marriage. to enjoy the same rights and benefits of heterosexual couples. to walk in freedom with who God has made us to be. 

someday, maybe. 

someday. 

ok... i'm officially off my soap box. thank you for humoring me and reading :)